Transcript 101. Jan. 14, 2016. 11 a.m.
11 a.m. Marla Jo Fisher, speaking to her 18-year-old son, Cheetah Boy, who is lying on the couch playing Grand Theft Auto:
11 a.m. MJF: You’d better start studying for your drivers’ license written test tomorrow.
11:01 a.m. CB: I already know everything to pass the test.
11:02 a.m. MJF: Regardless, you should study. There are a lot of tricky little questions on that test.
11:03 a.m. CB: I’m good.
Later that day……
2 p.m. MJF: I emailed you a link to practice DMV tests. You should turn off that video game and get on your laptop and practice the exam. Your test is early tomorrow.
2:01 p.m. CB: Okay thanks.
2:02 p.m. MJF: No, seriously. You really should.
2:03 p.m. CB: Okay, okay. Get off me.
Transcript 102. The next morning. 9:30 a.m. Jan. 15. Outside the Stanton DMV office.
9:30 a.m. CB: I took the test twice and only missed passing by two questions, the first time, and one question the second time. The questions were stupid. One was about animals by the side of the road. Who cares?
9:31 a.m. MJF: Well, you should have studied like I told you. I hope it was a learning experience for you.
9:32 a.m. CB: I only missed it by one question, and it was a stupid one! It had nothing to do with studying.
9:33 a.m. MJF: You keep thinking of this as if it were winning the lottery. It has nothing to do with chance. It has to do with preparation. I hope you learned a lesson today about being prepared now that you’re an adult. Anything important requires preparation.
9:34 a.m. CB: Yeah, whatever. Will you bring me back this afternoon to take the test again?
9:35 a.m. MJF: Naw, probably not.